November 2020

Work of the eyes is done, begin heartwork now on those images in you, those captive ones;
for you conquered them, but you still don’t know them.

Rainer Maria Rilke

11 November - MUSINGS

Personal life is like a river: it begins at the spring and follows its own, individual course, perhaps through mountainous regions, or forests, of by forming a lake, ... and in the end, it merges with the ocean.
But neither the spring nor the ocean are the cause of the water.


Some time ago, I had a kind of ugly discussion with someone about the contemporary art scene denying visibility to the fantastic and more traditional artists.
To make it clear, once and for all, here's my personal point of view, and that does not have to be yours:

Everyone is different - proof: we all have different bodies - and everybody should be absolutely free to live their own life.
I cannot live your life, and you cannot live mine, so we all have to try and make the most of our individual life.
I cannot tell you how to live yours because I can never know your deepest, personal motivations and desires, and the opposite is also true: you cannot tell me how I should live mine.

Therefore I cannot judge you for desiring to be successful yes or no, for being commercial yes or no or for whatever your personal goals may be.
It is not because my own and very personal deepest desire is to be able to live my own life as fully and deeply as I can, including the more difficult moments, that I can set this as a norm for everybody. Neither can you for as far as your deepest desire is concerned.
You live your life and make your decisions, I live mine and I make mine.
But if what you deep down want is to replace today's most famous and celebrated artists by more figurative and traditionally working artists because you happen to be one of the latter category, and you want to create a pressure group, a movement which will make sure every member of it will finally get the merited respect for who they are, and you ask me to join that group, I find you far too depending on the judgment of mama society.
To me, success always comes with a desire to make it last and to achieve this, artists have to live up to the expectancies of a public and the art-world of galleries, art-critiques, musea and collectioners. For me, that is not possible. So don't count me in.

05 November - A DILEMMA

These are strange times. Everything is changing, and even that idea is at times not certain.
At the one hand, I absolutely want to start creating new works and also begin with some experiments that could broaden my view, but at the other hand, I still have a number of works that are unfinished, and that I, deep down, want to have finished so as to be ready for some deep change that is going to take place (so says the Muse) . For a longer while, I have only created drawings in black and white, with my favourite ,13 Rotring pen. (the works I am referring to are all in the Recent Works gallery) I did not colour them. Not that I did not want to, but I simply did not see the colours before my mind's eye. Usually, whilst drawing, the colours appear in a kind of double view, and I know of large parts which colour I want where. Of course this is approximative and it can still change when I am actually applying watercolour, but this time, nothing appeared. It was frustrating to say the least, but, as often, something deeper happened. Because no colours appeared, I decided to keep them in black and white and, as such, put more emphasis on what was available. With colour, it is rather easy to guide the attention. With black and white, all that is available is the local lightness. So I was forced to pay more attention to lights and darks, and also to shadow. The result was/is that the drawing becomes much more elaborate, but also that it becomes, generally speaking, darker. In case I did want to add colour after all, this would also influence the colour. Indeed: watercolour being translucent, what's below it has its influence, and lighter over darker is not done because it becomes sullen and dead.
And then, the colours came back. Suddenly. Just like they had disappeared.
The only thing I could do, was to pay also more attention to the masses and the shadows in colour.

So now, I am torn between beginning (finally!) new works with pen and some experiments on the one hand, and on the other, colouring the ones that are still waiting to be coloured. I love the colouring process, really, but because some of the works date from a few years ago, I have to go back in time and relive the instinctive, emotional and mental conditions I was in then. And at times, it is really shocking to experience how much I have changed. And I guess this must also be true for many other people... we do not realize how much we have changed over the last few years...
Apart from that, there is also still a lot of work to do on this site: I want to put more time in the photographs and the digital directions, but the Traditional media also need a lot of work as I have to add many studies, black and white states, etc etc ...

Best remedy against the confusion is to let it all happen I guess...