SOURCE

source
BRON

pen on paper
2019 - 354 x 500 mm

DETAILS :

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Usually when I start a new work, I go through a short phase of deep anxiety that this time it won't work. The empty page is like an abyss that is worse than threatening in its absolute indifference. I normally overcome this by putting some pencil lines on the paper and let myself be guided by these. This time not. I wanted an absolute kind of free-jazz improvisation. No boundaries. So I started drawing, but as you can see in the work-in-progress image below, the left-hand side was nearly full (not completed and certainly not finished) whilst the right-hand side was still empty. And doubt crept in. The typical doubt whether I would be able to keep this complex structure consciously active. Luckily, I could. If I hadn't been able to, the paper would have been torn to pieces and thrown away, and I would have been angry with myself for the defeat. Untill, perhaps already the same day, I'd start again.

When completed, I called this work NIGREDO because I found it corresponded with the first phase of creating the Philosophers' Stone in alchemy in a Jungian sense, which links it with the Dark Night of the Soul. But I changed my mind because, first, it really made me feel dark and despondent, and second, it would normally have to be the first in a series of works on the four phases, and I would have to create an Albedo, a Cintrinitas and a Rubedo also. Even coloured later on with watercolour, these latter three can hardly be created in pen with black ink. What's more, I didn't feel like a series. So I returned to my first idea, the idea I had whilst drawing, which is that this resembles to me how I imagine the inside, or hidden side of a source. People often say to stay close to the source, but I always wanted to know what happens on the other side, the inside that is not visible to us.

IN PROGRESS :

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